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Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video
Monday, February 20, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Jack Black Reporting
Pilots might be especially interested in his comments on Blozone's Gonzo, the IcePack-6 and the new Jin-X wings.
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Quote:
-
Dear Big-Wide-World,
After a week of flying here in Valle de Bravo in full on racing conditions I can offer some perspective...plz remember this is my own.
Yesterday saw a few more events which helped solidify my feelings. Following several reserves/incidents in the preceding days, notable events I'm familiar with for yesterday (there were others) being 2 JinX's falling out of the sky with one ending under reserve and the other, an excellent pilot, cascading 800 meters with a clean glider but unable to restart the glider with normal inputs - it finally started flying again at the last possible moment.
With full on racing conditions we've had much of the time, the majority of gliding is being done on full bar and everyone has done everything they can to optimize their speed systems. You can imagine that pilots are trying various measures to eek out even the smallest additional speed. Yesterday they put the ESS directly in the afternoon lee/rotor of C Gordo with a 1k cylinder which wasn't the best call by the tc and many pilots got worked diving in there. Nik Papadopolopolis was full bar in there on his Gonzo and was trying something with his risers to get a bit more and blew up with a big cravat/spiral/full stall/cascade and unable to restart then reserve with strong downplane and scary high speed tall tree crash falling 30 feet shredding his glider. We were all quite relieved that he was ok and able to spin it humorously as only Nik can do.
Two days ago Lucky D'Nini, one of the planets most skilled and experienced pilots was ACRO deep stalling his Gonzo over the lake after making goal and ended up under reserve and in the trees up the hill a bit from the LZ, again, unable to get things sorted out and restarted
Both the Gonzo's and the IcePack-6's are gliding quite well and are rock solid on speed through all kinds of turbulence. The Jin pilots are really struggling because they don't glide as well at trim and are nowhere near as efficient while trying to speed through turbulence. They are constantly pitching and having to come off bar because it's difficult to effectively control the gliders with the risers. There was all kinds of hype when we got here about the Jin and how it turned so well it would easily climb right up through other gliders.. This of course ended up being total BS and of course it climbs nice but doesn't stand out. Several of the same pilots are now disappointed in the overall performance of the glider saying its not so good for racing but good only for recreational flying. The current results tend to support this but of course it's early in the comp and things may change.
The IcePack-6 has had some healthy factory quality control issues which showed up in several gliders after the first few warmup days. This was evidenced by dimples discovered by nearby pilots on the top surface in various locations. Some were temporarily sorted out by cutting and taping internal cross bracing... Another IcePack-6 took a full frontal (before the comp started) and broke some A lines then reserve. It was thought that they were possibly improperly looped at the riser attachment point and burned through at the first shock loading of the glider.
The Gonzo is an AreTen-Two with restricted speed and a small C cascade which seems to
make it launch easier. The B handles allow top efficiency while speeding on glide through all kinds of turbulence. Unlike the AreTen-Two and AreLeven, the Gonzo will spin (and apparently do a nice helicopter spin according to Joss yesterday) if pushed too hard while thermalling, but the spin authority is quite good and this has produced no problems that I'm aware of.
The IcePack-6 has very successfully incorporated much of the AreLeven's leading edge shark nose. It's flying very nicely and pilots are able to keep it coordinated while accelerated through turbulence. The certification was showing it quite a bit faster than the Gonzo and again many pilots were talking about how they were going to school us on glide..... Again, this never materialized and the gliders seem dead even IF you get every cm of speed out of your system. If you're half a turn behind someone when you leave the last thermal then you will hit the ESS 10k later the same distance behind them if you've both managed the glider equally through turbulence and stayed mostly pulley to pulley.
I guess what you can take from this is that any of these gliders may be difficult or impossible to restart if things go bad. Many Blozone pilots, myself included, are convinced that the best and safest all around racing glider is at home. While the risks of full speed blowouts are clear on the AreLeven/BoomBoom8, it appears that all 4 of the gliders we are flying here are also at risk of being unrecoverable if things go bad. Blozones website warning on the Gonzo is spot on and Jin and Nov-yuk should do the same. Why not fly the AreLeven which glides better, handles better, and is much less likely to break/stall/spin than the gliders we've been forced on to by the events of last summer?
It's been very typical Valle full on racing with great conditions, great pilots, and plenty of carnage with fortunately no serious injuries... The way things are going I'm sure there will be boat loads of data to summarize and sort through when this is finished....
J Black
-
So there you have it folks. If it's dirt you want, we got it. And it's nice to know that, during these turbulent times, all is back to normal with the top-dogs. Yes, they're still falling out the sky on a regular basis...
The internet !
Once the Pope's out the bottle, he'll be shittin' in the woods till doomsday. [ WTF? - Ed ]
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video
Funnier than the 1908 "Louis Bleriot Tree-Landing" helmet cam video
Friday, December 9, 2011
An Interim Report
As most of you will know, a SIVL CompSafNet Defcon 5 Task Force was setup a few months ago and asked to sort out all the problems that have recently blighted the world of on-bar, lee-side thermalling, small silver trophies and skinny wings.
A few months ago they went off armed with pencils and have now returned to put pen to paper. Or key clicks to keyboards perhaps. They promised an interim report. So they wrote one.
The long awaited interim report has been anxiously awaited by many competition pilots as it will recommend to the powers that be what options they have to choose from when defining how competitions will run in the future. Not only the comps, of course, also the wings that may be flown, by whom, when, where and how. Although we are reliably informed that paragliders of a single tether set are off the table.
Well, it's been finished and it's been submitted, and almost on-time. [impressive - Ed]
And, of course, it's been leaked, presumably by the Ozzies.
What a choice of font! Stunning. Those boys know how to make a presentation all right. Not only does it set the professional tone of the document at the right level, it leaves the reader with [enough bullshit, get on with it - Ed]
So to the all important content. Those who have the time to read the document will have already done so, but there will be pilots out there who simply don't have the time to read and digest the entire tome. Enter Pie, with one of our enterprise class executive summaries.
The Pie executive summary:
"Everything, within the bounds of common sense, that you can possibly think to change about wing class definitions, harness safety, pilot training, accident reporting, task planning, wing testing, task scoring and anything else related to the competitive side of our sport that may help improve safety is on the table to solve this almighty balls up.
Over to you SIVL. Choose one please."
Well, that clears that up then.
A few months ago they went off armed with pencils and have now returned to put pen to paper. Or key clicks to keyboards perhaps. They promised an interim report. So they wrote one.
The long awaited interim report has been anxiously awaited by many competition pilots as it will recommend to the powers that be what options they have to choose from when defining how competitions will run in the future. Not only the comps, of course, also the wings that may be flown, by whom, when, where and how. Although we are reliably informed that paragliders of a single tether set are off the table.
Well, it's been finished and it's been submitted, and almost on-time. [impressive - Ed]
And, of course, it's been leaked, presumably by the Ozzies.
What a choice of font! Stunning. Those boys know how to make a presentation all right. Not only does it set the professional tone of the document at the right level, it leaves the reader with [enough bullshit, get on with it - Ed]
So to the all important content. Those who have the time to read the document will have already done so, but there will be pilots out there who simply don't have the time to read and digest the entire tome. Enter Pie, with one of our enterprise class executive summaries.
The Pie executive summary:
"Everything, within the bounds of common sense, that you can possibly think to change about wing class definitions, harness safety, pilot training, accident reporting, task planning, wing testing, task scoring and anything else related to the competitive side of our sport that may help improve safety is on the table to solve this almighty balls up.
Over to you SIVL. Choose one please."
Well, that clears that up then.
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 2001 "Bognor Regis Birdman" videos
Funnier than the 2001 "Bognor Regis Birdman" videos
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Material Crisis
IT RATHER seems that September is not a good month to be a paraglider manufacturer. You may remember Pie reporter Maribel "Rose" Culottes broke the "White Wash" story this time last year when she discovered some manufacturers were running short of Posher-9017 and using Y-fronts in EN-C's? Well, here at Pie we're getting that sense of deja-vu again. Once more, again.
Trawling the net for the latest news, leads and stories for our readers we stumbled upon a video of a wing still in development and we think we've uncovered something untoward. And we think it shows they've lost those rolls of white cloth again.
"Surely not?", we hear you say.
Well yes, we think they surely have.
If you examine the following still frame from a secret, never-before-seen video we found on Vimyo, we're pretty confident you'll agree something is amiss.
Amazing, isn't it? There it is. Right there, in red and white.
Due to their failure to implement a decent JIT supply system and have the right materials, at the right place, at the right time, for the right wing, they're going to attempt to con customers out of half their bloody wings. The nerve of these guys! Do they really think they can get away with simply not supplying the bottom sail?
We've handed our findings to the Trading Standards Institutits and await their reply.
Meanwhile, somewhat unsurprisingly, Blozone were unavailable for comment.
[it must be all that R&D - Ed]
Trawling the net for the latest news, leads and stories for our readers we stumbled upon a video of a wing still in development and we think we've uncovered something untoward. And we think it shows they've lost those rolls of white cloth again.
"Surely not?", we hear you say.
Well yes, we think they surely have.
If you examine the following still frame from a secret, never-before-seen video we found on Vimyo, we're pretty confident you'll agree something is amiss.
Amazing, isn't it? There it is. Right there, in red and white.
Due to their failure to implement a decent JIT supply system and have the right materials, at the right place, at the right time, for the right wing, they're going to attempt to con customers out of half their bloody wings. The nerve of these guys! Do they really think they can get away with simply not supplying the bottom sail?
We've handed our findings to the Trading Standards Institutits and await their reply.
Meanwhile, somewhat unsurprisingly, Blozone were unavailable for comment.
[it must be all that R&D - Ed]
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1972 "Robert Livingston Seagull patio door" accident
Funnier than the 1972 "Robert Livingston Seagull patio door" accident
Monday, August 29, 2011
Task Force II
This morning we received a press release direct from Hollywood. Yep, direct from Hollywood. Amazing, huh?
At the time of going to press, we were unable to preview the trailer or confirm the movie plot beyond the press release we received. So it's anyone's guess as to what this movie is about.
Perhaps we can presume it contains something of interest to PG pilots. Maybe.
Here's the press release in full. You decide.
Quote:
.. Univursal Studio Pictures presents...
.. .. .. a Farcical Moments / SIVL Pictures Production...
.. .. .. .. .. of a Calvow All-Ridge Film...
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. in collaboration with Film Four, R11 Offshore Rigs and Snoozewell Hospital Beds LLC...
TASK FORCE II - - - This Time It's Personal !!
After the failure of their first mission behind enemy lines, the boys are going back.
And this time it's personal.
And this time they're taking notes !!
(and guns)
(but mainly notes)
Picking up (the pieces of) where they left off in the first movie, Bruce Willis (Knutson) takes on the might of The Baddie (IsInDerGarden) over the "Testing Ground" that is CAT-1 territory. Overrun by enemy test wings this no-mans-land is no place for a girl, but nothing will stop The Bint (Joe Lyn) from keeping her man alive.
With the timebomb ticking, and future wing development at stake, can our hero save the day and grab an extra .3 glide? Will he be able to squeeze an extra 3kph top end into wind? Will he get off the speedbar before it cravattes this time?
When the going gets tough, the tough buy serial class. No shit !! Shit, No !!
TASK FORCE II, the all-new Farcical/SIVL blockbuster starring...
Gregorial Knutson as "Bruce Willis"
Jorge Uweld is "The Organiser"
Jon Wolton is "The Notetaker" (legal and A4)
Gosh Cohen is "Jesus' Mum"
Loo Joe Lyn is "The Bint"
Mad IsInDerGarden is "The Baddie"
Hands Pampas is "The Designer"
Rusty Ogler is "The Pilot"
Tungsten Steal is "Mister Pink"
and introducing:
.. .. The Serial Killer as "himself"
Coming Soon To A Cinema Near You !!
(well, maybe next year) (or later)
There you go folks. Grab a Coke and a small popcorn because it sounds like it's going to be a roller-coaster of an action adventure movie !!
[I think I'll wait for the DVD, Ed]
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Naming Conventions
IT TRULY is amazing what we receive in the post!
Once again the postmaster general has brought us an anonymous tip which we feel obliged to share. Our French is terrible, but it does rather seem to be an official government form of some kind.
Make of it what you will.
Once again the postmaster general has brought us an anonymous tip which we feel obliged to share. Our French is terrible, but it does rather seem to be an official government form of some kind.
Make of it what you will.
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos
Monday, August 1, 2011
A Christian Interview
After flying and running for the length of your average continent, Christ-Yan went on a bit of a bender with his support driver (Thomas Thingy-whatever) to blow off the stress and strain and ease those aches and pains. And let's face it, you'd need a fair amount of good quality alcohol to ease those aches don't you think?
So last Thursday we somewhat lucked out when we bumped into them in Monaco's famous "Big Tits 'N' Even Bigger Tits" club. This surprised us a little as we were led to believe the Christ was a quiet, unassuming man of modest character and a well balanced demeanor. So, WTF, always happy to get it where we can, we sat down to see if all that sponsors liquor was having an effect and speak to the newly crowned king of the mountains. (and Thomas Thingummy)
Luckily, we taped it. (as the whole thing came as a great surprise when we found the tape in our pocket the next morning)
The Pie-Christ interview:
Pie: What was your worst moment, if you had one? And the best?
CM: Well, right from the off, treading in that horse shit before even crossing the Salzburg River was a big downer for me. They were new boots and everything, and I knew they'd never be the same for the whole trip. And I lost my lucky Swiss Army knife on day three, a gift from Bruce Goldchain when we met in Oz a few years back. I really missed that every day. Oh yes, and of course there was the full frontal induced, cravatted spin 20m AGL on that lee-side ridge with a 70Kph headwind. But I went hands-up and it came out no problem. Yes, and running out of toilet paper on the Schnitzelhorn Ridge would also be in my top 10 but likewise, I went hands up and it... well... likewise.
Pie: And the best moments?
CM: Oh yes, well ten minutes before you came in that chick with the tassles, over there behind the redhead, gave me a lap dance and XC-Rag paid for it, so that's one for the diary I can tell you. Don't tell the missus. Oh, and the final touchdown when I hit the raft at Monaco. Great moment. Truly a relief.
Pie: You mean finally ending the torture and pain?
CM: No, just hitting the raft. Trust me, I'm fucking useless at accuracy, I couldn't hit a dart board with a beer bottle if my life depended on it. I spent more time practising spot landings than anything else during training. Hopeless I am, but just keep it to yourself ok?
Pie: Tell us Chrigler, do you have bigger balls than most pilots? Physically speaking, I mean, are they above average in size?
CM: Well, it's not the size of your balls that's important, is it? It's what you do with them. Having a large pair of balls is no use if you get yourself killed within a year of learning to fly, now is it. And you need to be comfortable in your harness in this sport. You fly, sort of, you must know this.
Pie: Are you fucking kidding? It must take an elephant sized pair of gonads to launch a two-liner off a cliff you've never seen before in a 50kph crosswind with no bail-out option of it doesn't come up straight?
CM: Well yes, ok, they're fucking huge. And hairy. You can quote me!
Pie: Another beer, or chaser?
CM: Oh yes, Red Bollox have got a tab, I'm having two of of each. Thomas! We need more drinks!
Pie: During the comp you flew 1300Km in 36 hours and ran 500Km in 85 hours. Are you fucking nuts?
CM: Clearly! Next question? Oh, thanks Thomas, and hey, remember, you're driving my friend!
Pie: During the comp you flew 1300Km in 36 hours and ran 500Km in 85 hours. Are you fucking nuts?
CM: No, not at all. It's all about physical training and mental preparation.
Pie: During the comp you flew 1300Km in 36 hours and ran 500Km in 85 hours. Are you fucking nuts?
CM: Well yes, clearly I am. There's no amount of physical training or mental preparation that can fully prepare you for the grueling onslaught of two weeks of that shit you know. Will that do?
Pie: What makes your glider so fast compared to the competition? How does it go so fast?
CM: Dunno.
Pie: Some say it's the pilot?
CM: Maybe, who is he? Is he good?
Pie: You're not human are you?
CM: No. never have been, never will be. Don't fancy it, to be honest. You humans are so weak and have a very limited capacity for just about everything except alcohol. My main worry is that by outclassing the entire field in this x-comp thing I might draw attention to myself and the Men in Black might come looking for me. Hey, that chick's eying me again...
Maybe we ran out of tape, maybe we turned it off, we'll probably never know. Either way, this exclusive interview has given us all a revealing look into the mind of probably the best pilot in the world.
You read it here first.
[Chrigel, you really are a bloody machine, congratulations (to all) - Ed]
Pie in the Sky
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos
Funnier than the 1494 "Leonardo da Vinci Training Hill" videos
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